The Hook Up Handbook Page 6

  For example, if you meet her on the dance floor, you can take her hand and say, “Let’s go hang by the bar.” Then, once you’ve hung out for a little bit, you can say, “Let’s go outside for a minute and get some fresh air.”

  And finally, you can say, “I live close by, let’s go back to my place for a drink.”

  The more she complies and the bigger the requests that she complies to, the hornier she is and the more open she is for sex with you.

  She Checks You Out

  You notice her eyes drift a bit to your body. Maybe she sneaks a glance at your biceps, or takes a quick look at your lips. Whatever the case, she’s subtly (or, perhaps, not so subtly) checking you out.

  Women are good at sneaking these glances, so it takes some awareness to notice them. But if you do catch her, then you’ve got a clear sign that she’s horny.

  Now, you might be wondering…

  “Once it’s time to make the move, how do I do it the right way?”

  For that, you need to become a great kisser. And that’s what we’ll talk about next.

  But first, here’s a quick recap of the signs that she’s horny (and wants you to make a move):

  - She’s receptive to your touch and touches you back.

  - She gets in your personal space (and is comfortable with you in hers).

  - She talks less and gives shorter answers.

  - The two of you are alone in private.

  - She holds lingering eye contact.

  - She complies with your requests.

  - She checks you out.

  Fundamental #7:

  Turn Her On from the First Kiss

  (and Get Her Thinking About Sex)

  We sat in the movie theater holding hands.

  I could feel her glancing at me from the corner of my eye. It was obvious that she wanted me to move in for the kiss (and also obvious that she had more experience with this stuff than me, even though she was a year younger).

  I ignored her glances for as long as possible because I had no idea how to kiss a girl. I felt like if I kissed her, I’d be exposed. How could a 10th grader still not know how to kiss a girl?!

  Some friends had told me that you just need to “stick your tongue in her mouth and move it clockwise.” That’s about the only knowledge I had to go off of.

  I couldn’t ignore her sideways glances for any longer without feeling like a wuss. So I checked my ego and went in for the kiss.

  I went for it just like my friends had told me to. I stuck my tongue right in there and turned it clockwise and counterclockwise, attacking her mouth like a cyclone. “This is easy!” I thought. “I’m really getting the hang of this!”

  I thought for sure I was doing a great job, and she seemed to like it, too.

  ***

  A few hours later, I sat down at home, excited. I’d finally kissed a girl and done it well.

  Then a message popped up on my computer. It was her…

  “I just want to tell you… You are one HELL of a bad kisser.”

  My heart dropped. Apparently, I still didn’t have the slightest idea of how to kiss a girl.

  That’s when I began to realize just how important kissing really is…

  ***

  The way you kiss tells a woman a lot about the way you have sex.

  If you’re careless and not in the moment, she’ll assume you’re the same way in bed.

  But if you give her a passionate, dominant kiss, you’ll get her wet with anticipation.

  In this chapter, I’ll talk about how to become a great kisser so you can turn her on from the first kiss…

  How to Go in for the First Kiss

  First, you should understand that different environments call for different types of kisses. For example, your kiss in a nightclub should be different than your kiss in the bedroom.

  More specifically, you should kiss a girl differently in situations where sex is immediately possible (like when you’re in a bedroom or a private place) versus when it is not (like when you’re at a bar or some other public place).

  I’ll talk first about how to kiss a girl in a public place. These will be the bulk of your first kisses with women.

  When kissing a girl in a situation where sex is possible, you can start right off with the sexual kiss (which you’ll learn about in a minute).

  Here’s how to go in for a normal first kiss…

  - Pause and look into her eyes. Stop talking for a couple of seconds and look into her eyes. Lower your eyelids slightly and notice what you find sexy about her. This will make your eye contact more sexual.

  - Pull her in physically. Hold her by the small of her back and gently pull her in towards you with one hand.

  - Start the kiss lightly, with low intensity. Go in light – this will allow you to gradually build up to a deeper kiss.

  - Lightly nibble on her lip. Gently nibble on her lower lip. Make sure to do it lightly; otherwise you might give her a fat lip, which is a bigtime mood killer.

  - Use a little bit of tongue. Open your mouth slightly and use a little bit of tongue. Don’t jam it in there like a cyclone (like I used to do). Instead, use it lightly and just kind of poke it in a little bit to give her a preview.

  - Be the first to pull away (after 5-10 seconds). You don’t need a full-on 5 minute long make-out session here. Maintain control and keep the sexual tension alive by being the first one to pull away.

  The goal here is not just to enjoy the kiss but also to use it to build sexual tension. Where other men want to keep kissing her for minutes at a time and give all of the control and validation to the girl, you don’t give in so easily. You maintain control by being the first one to pull back, and also by avoiding giving her your “full kiss.” It’s better to save that for the sexual kiss that we’re going to talk about next.

  The result? You keep her intrigued and wanting more. Instead of defusing the sexual tension (which typically happens after one or two long make-out sessions because the girl is now 100% sure that you want to have sex with her), you actually create more sexual tension. You tease her with a small kiss and get her thinking about the big passionate kiss that could be coming soon.

  And that passionate kiss is what we’ll talk about next…

  Mastering the “Sexual” Kiss

  After you tease her with “normal kisses” throughout the night, you can transition to a sexual kiss once sex is on the table (i.e. the two of you are back at your place or hers).

  This kiss basically leads right into sex. It’s intense, sexual, and has lots of intimate, physical contact. You’re finally giving her the “full kiss” she’s been craving all night.

  Here’s how to master the sexual kiss and turn her on…

  - Grab and hold her hair from the roots. The majority of women love dominant men, and so they like it at least a little bit rough. When you hold her hair from the roots while kissing her, it shows that you’re a dominant man and will often turn her on even more. Note that you don’t need to hold your hand there the whole time – you can switch back and forth, first holding it for a few seconds and causing her to tilt her head, and then letting it go.

  - Tilt your head at a deeper angle. With the normal kiss, you only need to tilt your head enough to not bump her nose straight on, because you’re not going for a deep kiss. But the sexual kiss is more passionate and deep, and to get deeper, you’ll need to tilt your head more than before.

  - Hold her more tightly. Bring her in with a little more force than with the normal kiss. Then, hold her more tightly while kissing her. The increased physical contact will turn her on and make the kiss more passionate.

  - Open your mouth wider. You only slightly opened your mouth and used a little bit of tongue with the normal kiss. But here, you’ll open it a bit more widely (not all the way – you’re not at the dentist’s here) and use more tongue. This makes the kiss more intense and sexual. When you use your tongue, use it in a playful way with hers. You can lick her tongue, flick it with the tip of y
our own, and explore her mouth a little bit.

  - Suck on her tongue. This is a technique I learned from one of my first college girlfriends. It works like this: when her tongue is in your mouth, close your lips on it and suck lightly. Do it for just a second or two – that’s all you’ll need. It adds some uniqueness and intensity to the kiss, and it shows her that you’re savvy in this area.

  - Kiss her ears and neck. Pull back occasionally and kiss her neck and ears. You can even give her a gentle bite as well – just try not to make a mark and give her a hickey (unless you want her to give you one in return). Kissing her neck and ears like this is a great way to turn her on and start transitioning into sex.

  - Pick her up and have her wrap her legs around you. This is one of the best ways to transition from the sexual kiss into actually having sex. In the midst of the kiss, you pick her up, put her legs around you, and walk her to the bed.

  Wrapping Up How to Turn Her On from the First Kiss…

  Women will judge you by the quality of your kissing, so you need to get good at it. Otherwise, you’ll turn women off with your kiss instead of getting them amped up for sex.

  The first kiss will usually be in a public place. So here you’ll want to use the kiss to build sexual tension and maintain control of the situation. Because if you go for the sexual kiss, you’ll defuse the tension and give her too much validation, at which point sex will become unlikely.

  The sexual kiss is the one you should save for when sex is on the table (i.e. the two of you are in private). It amplifies the sexual tension, gets her extremely turned on, and can easily be transitioned into sex.

  Fundamental #8:

  Transform Your Apartment into a Panty-Dropping Bachelor Pad

  Preparation is the key to success in almost every area…

  …and that’s especially true when it comes to the dating and sexual realms.

  And yet most guys completely ignore preparation. They don’t bother to learn how to have better conversations with women, how to develop their sexy vibe, or how to make a great first impression.

  So it’s no surprise that they also don’t bother to prepare their apartment in a way that gives them the best chance of sleeping with a girl (or, at the very least, not scaring her off).

  While having a panty-dropping bachelor pad isn’t the most important element of attracting women, it will make things a whole lot easier for you.

  (By the way, by “panty-dropping,” I mean it makes women want to drop their panties and sleep with you when they walk in.)

  I’m speaking from experience here because I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum: shitty, uncomfortable apartment/bedroom, and panty-dropping bachelor pad. I promise you the latter is much better, and the former cock-blocked me more times than I can count.

  In short, you should have this handled. It will make your game better and your life easier.

  Before we get started, you should know the four necessary elements of a panty-dropping bachelor pad:

  - Cleanliness

  - Ambiance

  - Comfort

  - Preparedness

  You’ll learn about each of these elements in this chapter.

  (Note: You should make sure you have all this handled before you go on a date or out to a bar/club, because you never know when you’ll be bringing a girl back to your place.)

  Now let’s talk about exactly how you can transform your apartment into a panty-dropping bachelor pad…

  Element #1: Cleanliness

  When it comes to hygiene and cleanliness, women probably notice more than you. And odds are they won’t be comfortable in a messy, disorganized apartment. For some women, this is even a big turn off. So let’s talk about how to master the cleanliness element.

  Make Your Bed

  I don’t like making my bed. It’s annoying, and I don’t really care if it’s made or not. If I had it my way, I’d leave the sheets crumpled up, and I’d happily hop into bed just like that (sorry, mom).

  But whenever I suspect I might have a lady friend over, I always make my bed – and you should, too.

  Not only does it make your pad seem cleaner and feel more comfortable, it’s also a lot more enticing to hop into bed.

  Clean Your Room and Bathroom

  When she excuses herself to go to your bathroom after walking in, she’s usually not just… you know… peeing.

  She’s also subconsciously (or consciously, for some women) taking note of the cleanliness. Is your toilet seat up? Are there shaving accessories and other things scattered across the counter?

  Aim to make your bathroom as clean and as organized as possible because women will judge you for it whether they verbally tell you or not.

  The same goes for your bedroom. You shouldn’t have clothes strewn across the floor or shoes scattered around. Your mom was onto something when she told you to clean your room when you were a kid.

  Wash Your Dishes

  Occasionally you’ll prepare drinks for your female guest. And for that, you’ll need to be in the kitchen. If you have dirty plates and glasses stacked up, it’s not a good sign.

  Instead, make it a point to clean your dishes before women come over. Personally, I clean my dishes after each meal. It makes it easier to manage – and I don’t have to stare down a big stack of dishes every night. I suggest you do the same.

  Element #2: Comfort

  A woman’s level of comfort is a big factor in whether or not she’ll sleep with you. So the more comfortable your bachelor pad, the better you’ll be able to seduce her.

  Here’s how you can make it more comfortable:

  Get Comfortable Bedding

  Your bed should be littered with comfortable pillows and a nicely designed, fluffy comforter. There are many types of mattresses out there, so that’s up to you and what you sleep best on.

  But the sheets add a high level of comfort to the bed – so make sure you have nice sheets and lots of pillows. A nice design doesn’t hurt either (I’d advise against all white sheets because, well, you know…).

  As a side note, you should also wash your bedsheets at least once a week – not once a month, like we’ve all probably been doing.

  Have the Right Size Bed

  At the absolute smallest, you should have a full-sized bed. Overall, the bigger, the better, and king size is the best.

  Ideally, both of you will be able to lie down and stretch out on the bed.

  What’s more, a bigger bed allows for more positions… if you catch my drift.

  I’ve stayed at Airbnbs across the world, and occasionally, I’ve been stuck with a twin bed. I can assure you it’s the absolute worst for sex, and if the girl wants to sleep over, you’re in for an uncomfortable night.

  Element #3: Ambiance

  Ambiance is absolutely crucial. I might even say it’s the most important element to your bachelor pad, and it’s especially important in the bedroom. The ambiance mainly consists of the lighting and music. Both of these things set the mood for the apartment and the bedroom.

  Have a Music Speaker (with Bass If Possible)

  You don’t need a fully equipped sound system, but you do at least need a speaker. I travel a lot, so I have a small portable speaker from JBL Go. It fits in the palm of my hand, and it’s plenty loud enough to play good music and set the mood.

  If you’re not constantly on the road, you may want to invest in a slightly better speaker system with some bass. This helps set the mood as well.

  The reason for the speaker (and the music itself) is that 1) it blocks out outside noise (which can be distracting and a mood-killer), and 2) it disengages the logical mind and makes you and the girl more present.

  Have a Good Playlist Ready

  Your speaker system doesn’t matter if you play shitty music.

  I messed around for a long time trying to find a good hook up playlist. I use Spotify, and there are tons of playlists available. For a while, I used my own main playlist, but I have the occasional hilarious girly song in
there, and it throws off the mood (don’t worry, Alanis Morissette – you still my girl).

  Earlier this year, I came across a much better playlist. It’s called “Chill Vibes.” It has tons of chill, laid back songs that are perfect for setting the mood and hooking up. Just search “Chill Vibes” on Spotify playlists, and you can check it out. I suggest queuing this up right after you get home with a girl.