The Hook Up Handbook Page 12

  - Moan and grunt to show her that you’re enjoying the experience and that she’s giving you pleasure.

  Fundamental #18:

  The “Motion of the Ocean”

  “There’s something different about the way you have sex with me,” she said.

  “Oh yeah? What’s that?” I grinned.

  “The way you move. The way our bodies sync up and seem to go in a perfect rhythm. It feels like we’ve been having sex for months even though we’ve only done it a few times,” she replied.

  “Girl, I wasn’t joking when I said I have rhythm.” I laughed.

  ***

  You’ve probably heard of the saying, “It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.”

  Whoever came up with that saying understood the importance of good rhythm during sex.

  Good rhythm makes the difference between an immersive sexual experience and an awkward, clunky combination of two people’s genitals.

  It’s an absolute necessity for good sex. The problem is, a lot of guys don’t quite have it. There’s no flow to their sexual movements, and so the girl can never really get into it or have an orgasm.

  But if you want to become a masterful lover, then you’ll have to master your rhythm. And this chapter will show you how to do that.

  Here’s How You Can Develop More Rhythm…

  First off, here are the elements that make up your rhythm during sex:

  - The speed at which you thrust (fast vs. slow)

  - The type of thrust (in and out vs. side to side vs. no thrust at all)

  - The strength at which you thrust (hard vs. soft)

  - How much you alternate between different types of thrusts (variety)

  Keep these in mind as we get further into the rest of these tips for developing your rhythm.

  Start with Slow Thrusts

  Use slow thrusts at the beginning to set the pace and allow yourself to get into a good rhythm.

  The slow thrusts help you ease into the sex and get a sense of her rhythm too. They also help you get more immersed in the experience. You can feel the full scope of the pleasure while maintaining control of the pace so you don’t come too quickly.

  Speed Up, Then Slow Back Down

  As you get into a good flow with the slow thrusts after a minute or two, start to speed up. Go in and out with faster thrusts for a bit. This adds variety and intensity to the sex.

  Then, slow back down after a bit.

  You can alternate the speeds of your thrusts throughout the whole sex session. Just try to keep the thrusts steady. For example, don’t do 3 quick thrusts, followed by 2 slow thrusts, followed by 2 more quick thrusts. Instead, for example, you can thrust quickly for a minute, slow down a bit for a minute, and then speed back up again. That way, you’ll have enough time to get into a good rhythm at each speed.

  Use the Music as a Guide

  I play music almost every time I have sex, and I recommended you do the same (go back to the fundamental on transforming your apartment into a panty-dropping bachelor pad for a recap of this).

  You can use the music as a guide for your thrusts. You can speed up and slow down with the tempo. When you sync your bodies up with the music, it adds even more pleasure to the experience.

  Use Your Hips

  Ever heard the phrase, “It’s all in the hips?” Well, when it comes to rhythm, the hips are one of your most important tools.

  Use your hips to vary thrusts. Use them to thrust harder and to slow down, as well as to rotate while you’re inside of her.

  For a crash course on using your helps well, I recommend checking out some old Chris Brown dance videos. You know, the ones where he basically humps the floor. There’s a reason this type of dancing drives women crazy.

  Take a Latin Dance Class

  I’ve gotten much better at sex in the last few years since living in Latin countries like Colombia and Mexico. And that’s no coincidence.

  I’ve learned to dance reggaeton, bachata, salsa, and more. With all of these Latin dances, you have to move your hips well and get the rhythm down.

  This alone has taught me more about rhythm than any book or video ever could.

  So I recommend taking a Latin dance class like salsa or bachata and hitting up a few Latin clubs that play reggaeton.

  Dance with the girls there and experiment with the dance styles. In the process, you’ll develop a better sense of rhythm as well as some sexy dance moves. It’s a win-win.

  Wrapping Up the “Motion of the Ocean”…

  Good rhythm, or as some call it, the “motion of the ocean”, is essential to good sex.

  Most guys don’t have good rhythm, so simply by getting this down, you set yourself apart.

  Here’s a quick recap:

  - Rhythm has to do with the speed, strength, and motion of your thrusts.

  - Start with slow thrusts to set the pace and get into a good flow.

  - Speed up your thrusts and then slow them back down to add variety and intensity to the sex.

  - Use music as a guide and thrust to the tempo of the beat.

  - Use your hips for more effective rhythmic thrusting.

  - Take a Latin dance class like salsa, as this well help you develop a natural sense of rhythm.

  Fundamental #19:

  Dirty Talk

  Just as a steak isn’t quite as tasty without the salt and pepper, sex isn’t quite as good without a little spice.

  And one of the most important spices to add into the mix is dirty talk. When used properly, it can enhance the sex for both you and your girl.

  With it, you can turn up the dominance and emotion, both during foreplay and sex. You can also use it to give her multiple orgasms and increase the intensity of each of them.

  But as with any spice, you have to use it in the right way and at the right moment. Otherwise, it can ruin the experience instead of enhancing it.

  So, how do you use dirty talk the right way?

  First, understand that dirty talk should not be logical, funny, or validation-seeking. These things will rip her out of the immersive experience and potentially turn her off.

  For example, don’t ask, “Do you like it?” Of course she likes it – there’s no need to seek her validation. If you ask this, you’ll seem insecure and unconfident in what you’re doing.

  The key is to say the right thing at the right time and to mean it. For example, when you’re making out before sex, you can pull back, stare into her eyes, and say something like, “Babe, you’re so beautiful.” This will turn her on and further immerse her in the experience. But if you say the same thing while you’re railing her from behind, and she’s about to come, it’s a little awkward.

  It’d be a lot better to say something like, “You’re my naughty little girl, and you’re going to come all over me.”

  With this in mind, here are some ground rules for talking dirty in the bedroom:

  - Use possessive language. This makes it more personal and intimate. For example, “You’re my dirty little slut, aren’t you?” is much better than, “You’re a dirty slut,” because it implies she only does those things with you.

  - Tell her what you want. Tell her what you want her to do to you – it’s that simple. For example, “Ride that dick like you mean it,” or “Stand up and get against the wall.”

  - Say it like you mean it. You can’t talk dirty in an insecure tone. You must speak with confidence and be sure of what you’re saying. If she senses a hint of insecurity in your voice, it loses its power.

  - Tell her what you like. This shows her what you like so she can do more of it and also pleases her by showing her that she’s pleasing you. For example, you can say, “I love when you look up at me while you suck my dick,” or, “Your ass drives me crazy.”

  - Command her. When you command her, she can let go, follow your lead, and completely submit to you. You can say things like, “Get on your knees and get ready to take my cum all over your face.”

 
Keep in mind that dirty talk really depends on what you like and what you want to do during sex. It helps both you and the girl get more immersed in the experience. And so it’s good to keep these ground rules in mind and just kind of make it up as you go and experiment with it. You’ll learn to improve your dirty talk the more you do it.

  But if you’ve never talked dirty before, you might find it difficult to get started. So, I’ll give you some examples of dirty talk you can experiment with…

  Foreplay Dirty Talk

  - I’m going to f*ck you until you can’t walk.

  - Get on your knees and take this dick in your mouth.

  - Undress for me.

  - Strip for me.

  - Look up at me while you suck my dick.

  - Spit on my cock.

  - Use more hands.

  - You’re making me so hard right now.

  - You taste so f*cking good.

  - Feel how hard you’re making me.

  Dirty Talk During Sex

  - Ride me harder.

  - Good girl (when she’s doing something you like).

  - You look so f*cking sexy right now.

  - Come for me, baby (when you see that she’s close to coming).

  - I can’t wait to cum on your pretty little face.

  - Tell me who owns this f*cking pussy.

  - Your tight little pussy drives me crazy.

  - Bend over and show me that ass.

  - Get on your hands and knees and get ready to take my cock.

  Wrapping Up Dirty Talk…

  Dirty talking helps you create a more immersive sexual experience. Done right, it makes the girl come more, come harder, and lose herself in the moment. It creates an intensity that is hard to reach with silent sex.

  Here’s a quick recap of the dirty talk fundamental:

  - Use possessive language to make it more personal and intimate.

  - Tell her what you want.

  - Say it like you mean it – don’t let uncertainty creep into your voice.

  - Tell her what you like to show her that she’s giving you pleasure.

  - Command her so she can let go and follow your lead.

  Fundamental #20:

  Variety

  Variety is the spice of life, and as it turns out, it’s also the spice of the bedroom.

  It’s important both within each individual sex session and over the course of all of your sex sessions in a relationship with a girl.

  You shouldn’t be doing the same things for the duration of every sex session. This will quickly get boring for both you and the girl you’re having sex with. It’ll just be so damn predictable. Nor should you do the same things over the course of multiple sex sessions in a relationship.

  The same positions, the same time, the same location, etc. Eventually, sex will stop being fun.

  But when you add variety, you can keep sex interesting and exciting, continue to have great sex even if you’ve been with a girl for a long time, and make sex more adventurous and enjoyable for yourself.

  Luckily, it’s quite easy to add variety, and there are plenty of ways to do it.

  Here’s how you can add more variety to sex:

  Using Different Sex Positions

  You’ve already got 10 different sex positions in your arsenal from this book, so you’ve got plenty to choose from and transition to.

  And remember: you can use a position multiple times throughout the same session of sex.

  You should switch positions every seven to ten minutes or so. This gives you enough time to enjoy the position and get into a good rhythm, but it’s not so long that it starts to get boring. After seven to ten minutes, switch to another position and keep it going.

  (For positions where you expend more energy, like if you have sex with her while holding her up, you can go less than seven minutes. Otherwise, you might tire yourself out too quickly.)

  Time of Day

  What time of day do you usually have sex? For most people, it’s later on in the evening.

  There’s no problem with that, but it’s also good to switch it up once and while.

  For example, if you usually have sex in the evening, have sex the next morning too. Or do it on your lunch break, or even in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep.

  When you switch up the time of day, sex becomes less predictable and a bit more exciting.

  Duration

  Switch up the amount of time you have sex for.

  If you usually have sex with your girl for thirty minutes to an hour, then you can surprise your girl with a five minute “quickie” before she goes into work.

  Or you can go for two hours and have a marathon sex session.

  Watching Porn

  This is a great way to spice things up.

  It helps to have a laptop, flat screen TV, and HDMI cable to make the experience more immersive.

  Get naked, lie on the bed with your girl, and type in the URL of your favorite porn site. Spend some time watching and enjoying the porn together. The two of you can masturbate next to each other too.

  Then, when you actually have sex soon after, you’ll both be extremely turned on. You can leave the porn on in the background, as the background moans add a nice touch to the sexual experience with your girl.

  Using Toys

  Go to an erotica store with your girl and shop for sex toys.

  Dildos, vibrators, cock rings, handcuffs, blindfolds, etc. There are plenty of tools you can use to spice things up.

  For example, when doing her doggy style, you can reach around and put the vibrator against her clit for extra stimulation.

  You can also do things like handcuff her to the bed, watch her masturbate with a dildo, and even tie her down. Use your imagination!

  Amount of Foreplay

  You don’t need to go through the full spectrum of foreplay before every sex session. In fact, sometimes it’s good to skip it altogether and get right to the sex.

  This will make your sex sessions less predictable, and it’ll also make foreplay more enjoyable when you do it (because she won’t be sure if it’ll happen 100% of the time).

  Amount of Skin-to-Skin Contact

  Skin-to-skin contact increases intimacy, pleasure, and passion during sex. But if you’re always making skin-to-skin contact, then it’ll become predictable, and the pleasure derived from it will fade.

  So add variety here. The majority of the time, you can use positions with lots of skin-to-skin contact, but sometimes you can pull away and go for positions with less (or barely any) skin-to-skin contact.

  Then, when you switch back from minimized skin contact to maximized contact, you’ll enhance the pleasure derived from that contact.

  Location

  I stay in a different AirBnb apartment nearly every month, and the sex is always just a little bit more fun for the first time in that new apartment – especially if it’s with a girl I’m dating.

  There are new things to explore within it, like different mattresses, bean bags, tables, mirrors, etc.

  The lesson? Location is one of the best ways you can add variety.

  You can do it in different rooms within your apartment, do it in public, or even rent a hotel and do it there for a night.

  Wrapping Up Adding Variety to Sex…

  Variety is the spice of life, and it’s key to a great sex life too.

  It keeps sex interesting, unpredictable, and filled with different kinds of sensations.

  You should have variety within individual sessions and also over the course of all your sex with a girl.

  To recap, here are some ways you can add more variety to sex:

  - Alternate between different sex positions every seven to ten minutes.

  - Have sex at different times of day.

  - Have sex for different amounts of time.

  - Watch porn to amplify the mood before and during sex.