The Hook Up Handbook Page 14

  It happens to all of us.

  And the worse you react to this – the more you make it seem like a big deal – the worse you’ll make the situation.

  For example, if you come too quickly and keep saying, “I can’t believe this! This never happens. I usually last as long as I want. Trust me, I’m a lot better than this,” the girl is going to feel like it probably does happen all the time.

  The same goes for if you can’t get a boner and react similarly.

  It’s far better to practice vulnerability instead.

  Here’s what I mean by that…

  Instead of resisting the fact that it happened, just accept it.

  Stay calm and composed, and be honest with the girl.

  For example, if you come too early, you can say “Ah, I lost control there. The way you rode me with your tight little pussy drove me crazy. I guess we’ll have to go for round two in a little while” and give her a sly smile.

  If you can’t get it up, you can say “I guess I’m just a little nervous/tired/drunk right now. Let’s chill out and try again in a little while (or in the morning).”

  The biggest thing is to keep a calm, sort of nonchalant attitude about it. If you don’t make it a big deal, then she won’t make a big deal. And when you try again later on, you can do a better job.

  Fundamental #25:

  Get Harder Erections

  There’s nothing that kills a sex session faster than a flaccid penis.

  On the flip side, an extra hard erection allows you to do her harder, deeper, and with more intensity.

  But a lot of guys have trouble getting extremely hard erections. They get hard enough to have sex, but because they’re not 100% hard, the sex isn’t nearly as good.

  Maybe you’ve had trouble getting erections in the past, or perhaps you just don’t get quite as hard as you’d like (at least, not consistently).

  If that’s the case, you might be victim to some of these “erection killers”:

  - Stress. When you’re anxious from day-to-day things, it’s difficult to get in the moment. Then you start getting stressed about your erection difficulties, and it becomes a vicious cycle.

  - Lack of sleep. A 2009 study of 401 men with sleep apnea found that 70% of those men had erectile dysfunction, which led researchers to believe that lack of sleep and erectile dysfunction are connected [1]. When you’re tired and groggy, you don’t have the energy you need to perform well in bed, and you may not even be able to get it up.

  - Performance anxiety. When you’ve got performance anxiety, you’re in your head afraid that you won’t perform well. This doesn’t allow you to immerse yourself in the moment, and it can be so intense that it kills your ability to get hard.

  - Low testosterone. Testosterone plays a big factor in a man’s sex drive and performance. It’s not the only factor, and you can still get a hard erection with low testosterone. However, low testosterone can affect your libido and sap your sex drive. So getting your testosterone levels in line can be helpful for getting harder erections.

  - Masturbating too much/overuse of porn. When you masturbate daily or even multiple times a day to internet porn, you desensitize yourself to physical intimacy. A study by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine found that overuse of porn can lead to a drop in libido and make it difficult to get erections [2].

  - Alcohol/drugs. That whole “whiskey dick” thing isn’t a myth. According to a study by Brown University, alcohol directly affects the penis by interfering with parts of the nervous system that are essential for arousal and orgasm [3].

  Even if you haven’t had issues with getting erections, chances are you will at some point, especially as you get older. And you’ll have to deal with the very issues I just pointed out.

  So, here are some things you can do to combat these and get harder erections…

  Go to the Gym

  Not only will going to the gym make you look better and improve your physique (so you naturally attract more women), it will also increase testosterone and help you stay at a proper weight.

  Both of these things aid in giving you harder erections.

  You don’t need to be a gym rat or a meat head. Simply aim to go to the gym two to three times a week and get a consistent lifting routine. There are plenty of routines you can find online, but I recommend this routine from my friend David de las Morenas of How to Beast: https://www.howtobeast.com/get-jacked/

  I lived with David for a year, and he helped me completely transform my physique with a program very similar to this one. And now I have more energy, a better physique, and more confidence in my physical appearance.

  Get Better Quality Sleep

  Sleep is key to your health and essential to your ability to get harder erections.

  Most guys don’t get enough sleep, and the quality of sleep they do get is quite low. So it’s no surprise that when it comes time to get a hard erection, they don’t perform consistently.

  But there are a few simple things you can do to immediately start getting more quality sleep:

  - Sleep in a blacked out room. Get blackout curtains (or a quality sleep mask) and put dark tape over little lights in your room (like a digital clock light).

  - Keep your bed time consistent. This is easier said than done, especially if you like to go out on the weekends. But at the very least, try and go to bed at the same time every night during the week, ideally at a time that allows you to get in a solid eight hours of sleep.

  - Wear blue light blocking glasses before bed. A recent study from Harvard University showed that blue light (i.e. the type of light that gets emitted from your phone and laptop) negatively affects your circadian rhythm, which can damage your sleep pattern [4]. So either avoid looking at digital screens for an hour before bed, or get a pair of blue light blocking glasses to mitigate their effects. I personally wear these blue light blocking glasses most nights before I go to bed: http://amzn.to/2vTgvWV

  - Avoid late-night meals. It’s tempting to hit that 24 hour McDonald’s on your way home – trust me, I’ve been there before. While that late-night meal is satisfying in the moment, it can cause your blood sugar to spike, which interferes with your ability to get deep, quality sleep. So, it’s best to fight those cravings and avoid late-night meals.

  - Have a “pre-sleep” routine. Just as a good morning routine can help you crush the day, a good pre-sleep routine can help prepare you for quality sleep. Here are some habits you can put into that routine: reading, meditation, writing in a journal, and unplugging from TV/the phone.

  Avoid Processed Foods and Refined Sugars

  You probably have a sense of the foods that make you feel good and the foods that sap you of energy.

  For example, you can feel the difference in your energy levels after you eat a healthy meal filled with whole foods (like grass-fed meat and veggies), versus a meal like pizza and soda.

  I’m not a diet expert, but I’ve noticed that as I’ve improved my diet and cut out processed foods and refined sugars, I get harder erections and have much higher energy levels.

  In general, you’ll probably feel better if you stick to a diet filled with more whole foods than processed foods. So aim for things like grass-fed beef, wild-caught fish, and organic vegetables. Foods like these will give you energy (instead of sap it).

  Drink Responsibly (or Not at All)

  Every time I go out, I see dudes getting absolutely obliterated with alcohol. They drink until they can barely stand up anymore.

  This leaves me scratching my head because they basically ruin their ability to be socially sharp, and if they somehow bring a girl home, they probably won’t be able to get an erection.

  Instead of drinking a ton when you go out, mix in some soda waters to stay hydrated and slow down your drinking pace. Hell, you can cut out the drinking altogether, save yourself money, and give yourself the health benefits of avoiding alcohol.

  But at the very least, aim to keep it down to 1-4 drinks so that you keep
a manageable buzz going but don’t go over your limit. That way, you’ll stay socially sharp and can get hard if you end up bringing a girl home.

  Cut Down On the Porn/Masturbation

  Masturbation – we all do it from time to time. Some of us more than others.

  It can seem like a harmless thing – what’s a little porn going to do, anyway? But as I mentioned earlier, it gradually desensitizes you to physical intimacy.

  I’m not saying you need to cut it out completely, but try to limit it to 1-3 times a week or even less. At some point, you should be getting sex consistently enough to where you don’t even think of looking at porn.

  Wrapping Up How to Get Harder Erections…

  When you can get harder erections, you can have sex with your woman harder, stronger, and better. You’ll avoid the disappointment that a flaccid penis brings and perform consistently at your best.

  Here’s a recap of how to get harder erections:

  - Understand the factors that kill erections, like lack of sleep, low testosterone, stress, performance anxiety, and overuse of porn.

  - Go to the gym to improve your physique and boost your testosterone.

  - Get better quality sleep so you have high energy throughout the day and night.

  - Avoid shitty foods that weigh you down and sap your energy.

  - Drink less (or not at all) so that you’re socially sharper and can perform well if you bring a girl home.

  - Cut down on the porn/masturbation so that you don’t desensitize yourself to physical intimacy.

  Reference:

  1. Budweiser, S., Enderlein, S., Jörres, R. A., Hitzl, A. P., Wieland, W. F., Pfeifer, M., & Arzt, M. (2009, November). Sleep apnea is an independent correlate of erectile and sexual dysfunction. From https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19570042

  2. Scientists from the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine: Too Much Internet Porn May Cause Impotence. (n.d.). from http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/02/25/scientists-internet-porn-cause-impotence.html

  3. Borreli, L. (2015, October 15). Alcohol And Sex: What Is 'Whiskey Penis' And How Does It Affect The Male Libido? From http://www.medicaldaily.com/alcohol-and-sex-what-whiskey-penis-and-how-does-it-affect-male-libido-357278

  4. Blue light has a dark side. (n.d.). Retrieved October 30, 2017, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/blue-light-has-a-dark-side

  Fundamental #26:

  Use These Tips to Last Longer

  A lot of what you’ve already learned in this book – from the sexual mindsets to stamina control, to practicing vulnerability – is going to help you last longer in bed.

  But I wanted to lay out some concrete tips and put them in one place so you can go back to it whenever you’re having a “lasting long” issue.

  So keep these tips in mind – they’ll come in handy whenever you feel like you’re going to finish too soon.

  Let’s dive in…

  Use Less Sensitive Positions

  There are certain positions that make it harder to control yourself than others. These positions can vary from girl to girl and from session to session.

  For example, some girls know how to ride a dick incredibly well. They work your tool like a joystick, effortlessly moving back and forth and maximizing pleasure for the both of you. But the catch is, these girls can go a little too fast and make you lose control. If you feel this happening, you can sit up some, grab her ass, and try to slow her movements down for a little bit.

  Other girls, however, are tamer when they’re on top, which makes it easier for you to last longer. Like I said, it depends on the girl.

  And if the girl has a particularly nice ass, then doggy style might be the position that makes you lose control. Just be aware and be ready to change it up (or slow it down) before you feel like you’re going to lose control.

  Immerse Yourself

  One of the biggest reasons why you come quickly is because you’re thinking about NOT coming quickly. Instead, focus on your pleasure and being in the present moment with your girl.

  Orgasm happens at some point in the future, but you’re not thinking about the future. You’re feeling everything in this moment. You are immersed.

  When you immerse yourself, everything becomes easier. And it’s a lot more pleasurable than trying to think about baseball!

  Stop and Relax

  This one is simple. When you feel like you’re getting close to finishing, stop thrusting. Relax, and allow her to feel you deep inside for a moment until your urge to come has completely subsided.

  You can also pull out and eat her pussy for a minute or two – this will also give you time to calm down and recharge.

  Go Multiple Rounds

  Lost control and came too quickly the first time around? Calm down – it’s not a big deal.

  Give yourself fifteen to twenty minutes (or however long you need) to recharge. After you’ve already come once, it becomes easier to control your orgasm the second time around.

  Use “Long-Lasting” Condoms (as a Last Resort)

  Save this one as a last resort in case nothing else works. I say that because long-lasting condoms can take a little too much pleasure out of the sexual experience.

  They use numbing lubricant, which basically numbs your penis so you can’t feel as much. It can help you last longer, but it won’t feel nearly as good.

  Wrapping Up Tips to Help You Last Longer…

  The more comfortable you get with sex, the easier it will be to last longer. And if you practice the fundamentals in this book, you’ll eventually be able to last as long as you want just about every time you have sex.

  That thought of “What if I come too early?” will pretty much never cross your mind again. And if by chance you do come too quickly (which happens to all of us from time to time), you can always relax a little bit and go for another round once you’ve recharged!

  Here’s a quick recap of the “last longer” tips:

  - Use less sensitive positons when you feel like you’re about to come so that you can regain control before it’s too late.

  - Immerse yourself in the sexual experience and be in the moment instead of constantly thinking about when you’re going to come

  - Stop and relax if you feel like the urge to come is getting overwhelming.

  - Go multiple rounds. That way, if you come too quickly the first time, you can make it up to the girl in the next round.

  - Use long-lasting condoms as a last resort – be careful, though, as they have numbing lubricants that dull pleasure and make sex a little less fun.

  Part VII:

  What to Do After Sex

  Fundamental #27:

  Show Her You Care

  You now have all the tools you need to become amazing at sex.

  Once you put these fundamentals into action, you’ll give women mind-blowing orgasms and achieve the type of sexual lifestyle I described at the beginning of this book.

  But before you go out and apply all of these things, I want to leave you with one final note…

  The better you get at sex, the more women will feel connected to you, and the more they’ll want to be with you.

  Why? Well, think about it…

  Women have all these disgustingly mediocre men hitting them up every day and on every medium (Facebook, texting, Instagram, and more). Just ask any girl and she’ll show you the conversations. These mediocre men seek only validation and the chance to take advantage of the women they fawn after.

  Women are tired of these pathetic men and even more tired of the pathetic advances they try to make. And on the occasions when a girl gives in to a mediocre man’s advances, she’s left unsatisfied after a night of mediocre sex.

  It’s rare that a woman meets a man who genuinely cares and is a masterful lover. It’s a breath of excellence amidst a sea of mediocrity.

  She recognizes this and has more admiration for this type of man. She opens herself up more, is vulnerable, and desires to connect more and more deeply w
ith this kind of man.

  You are on your way to becoming this man.

  That’s why it’s important to treat her well after sex – both in the immediate aftermath as you lie next to her and in the days following.