The Hook Up Handbook Page 15

  Why? Well, it benefits both you and her.

  By treating her well, you make her feel good about having been with you. Instead of regret and sexual shame (which some guys surely make her feel by acting the way they do), she’ll feel a rush of good emotions, and she’ll look back on it as a positive experience.

  You’ll show her that a guy can be great at sex and also genuinely care about her well-being. This will benefit her future relationships and honestly just make the world a bit of a better place.

  And treating her well benefits you because it improves your chances of seeing her again (if that’s what you want), builds your reputation (she’ll say good things about you to her friends), and doesn’t give you the slimy feeling of manipulating a girl (in other words, it provides you with positive emotions, too).

  It also makes it more likely that she’ll feel comfortable chasing after you for more sex and desire to please you more and more.

  So in this chapter, I’ll show you the right way to treat a girl after sex. You’ll learn the mistakes that a lot of guys make, and then I’ll show you how to show her you care.

  Let’s get into it…

  Common Mistakes Guys Make After Sex

  They Make Her Feel like a Slut

  Guys do this both intentionally and unintentionally. Chances are, you have done it unintentionally in the past.

  Here are some things guys do to make her feel like a slut after sex:

  - Say “thank you” like the girl just provided some sort of service for them.

  - Ask her to leave right away.

  - Say things like, “I can’t believe you had sex with me so quickly.”

  - Ask questions like, “Do you usually sleep with guys on the first night?”

  - Turn over and go to sleep immediately.

  They Get Up and Leave Immediately

  Right after you finish, you say, “Ah, I gotta go, but this was fun,” and bolt out the door. This makes her feel like she just got used for sex.

  They Bring Up Weird Conversation

  They ask weird questions, make uncomfortable comments, and overall just act differently than they did before the sex.

  How to Show Her You Care

  Now that you know the common mistakes to avoid, let’s talk about some things you can do to show her you care…

  Help Her Clean Up

  When the sex is over, things can be pretty messy – especially if you finish on her face and/or chest.

  Have a roll of paper towels nearby, grab one, and wipe it off of her so she doesn’t have to sit there covered in cum.

  If You Ask Her to Leave, Do so Nicely

  Let’s be honest – there are times when you want to sleep alone, and you just don’t want the girl to stay over much longer. That’s fine – it’s human.

  In that case, you can ask her to leave, just don’t be a dick about it.

  I suggest lying there with her for five to ten minutes, then telling her you had a great time, but you want to get some sleep. Offer to walk her out and call her an Uber.

  Tell Her She Can Stay If She Wants To

  If you genuinely enjoyed your experience with her and don’t mind if she sticks around, then tell her she can stay if she wants to. This is a great way to show her you care, especially if it’s late at night and her only other option is to take a long taxi ride home.

  Go for Another Round

  When you go for round two, it tells her that you genuinely enjoyed the first round of sex. Your desire for her didn’t diminish just because you’d already “gotten the notch in your belt.”

  Go for Breakfast the Next Day

  This is one of the best ways to solidify a second meeting with a girl – especially if you just met her the night before, and she only knows you in a nightlife type of situation.

  It gives you the chance to make it real with her and have some relaxed conversation. As a result, she’s a lot less likely to feel like a slut afterwards.

  Send Her a Follow-Up Text the Next Day

  As a general rule, you should text girls the day after you have sex. This meshes with what I’ve been saying throughout this chapter – it shows that you’re not just using her for the sex and that you actually care about her well-being.

  You can say something as simple as, “Hey Ana, I had fun hanging out last night!”

  Wrapping Up Showing Her You Care…

  It’s really not too difficult to show a girl that you care, and it benefits both you and the girl.

  Here’s a quick recap of this fundamental:

  - When you treat her well, it gives the girl positive emotions, improves your chances of seeing her again, and increases her desire to please you.

  - Avoid the common mistakes that most guys make, like asking her to leave immediately, acting weird, and asking weird questions.

  - Show her you care by doing things like helping her clean up after sex, going for another round, and sending her a follow-up text the next day.

  Fundamental #28:

  Ask Her the Right Questions After Sex

  The moments after sex are an interesting time. You’re both clouded with feel-good endorphins, and she’s probably feeling some more intense emotions than usual.

  In this feel-good state, she’s more likely to reveal stuff she may not normally talk about (especially if the sex was good). Specifically, things that can give you a clearer picture of who she is and what she likes in bed, as well as things that tell you what you did right during your interaction with her (so you can keep learning and improving your ability with women).

  But she’s usually not going to just reveal that stuff out of the blue. You have to ask her the right questions.

  So in this chapter, I’ll give you a few questions to consider asking while you lay next to her after the first sex session.

  Don’t hammer out these questions back-to-back like an interview. Ask one and let the conversation flow – it’ll eventually lead you into the other questions (and you certainly don’t have to ask them all after the first session).

  And keep in mind that her answers will help you to provide an even better sexual experience for her the next time around.

  So, here are some questions to consider asking a girl after sex…

  1. What’s Your Favorite Sex Position?

  This tells you what positions to focus more on the next time around. You can even dive deeper and ask about her favorite position for coming.

  You may be surprised to learn that girls vary greatly in terms of their favorite positions. Some love to get it doggy style, while others love to come when they’re riding you. So, it’s good information to know for the next round of sex. You might even learn a new position from her.

  2. What’s a Sexual Fantasy You’ve Always Had?

  Every girl has sexual fantasies. A girl’s fantasies tell you about the type of sex she likes, what turns her on, and what kind of sexual experiences she may be open to.

  And occasionally, depending on the fantasy, you may even be able to help her fulfill it.

  If and when she tells you her fantasies, though, make sure not to appear judgmental at all. It’s important to show her that you’re open and that you don’t judge women for their sexual desires. That way, she’ll be comfortable experiencing and sharing more, and potentially even helping you fulfill your own sexual desires.

  3. How Rough Do You Like It (i.e. hair pulling, choking, spanking, etc.)?

  Most girls like rough sex at least a little bit. While you may not go as rough as you usually do during the first session, you can use this question to get a sense of how rough she wants it the next time around.

  Again, you’ll see a lot of variation with this. For example, some girls love to get their hair pulled, while others loved to get spanked and choked.

  When you ask the question, you can act it out a bit too to make it more clear. For example, if she asks, “What do you mean by rough?”, you can grab her by the root of her hair and say, “Like getting your hair pulled,” then
grab her ass and say, “or getting spanked.”

  4. At What Point Did You Realize You Wanted to Have Sex with Me?

  This question is more meant for you. Usually girls will tell you they don’t know the specific point – it just sort of happened.

  But occasionally you’ll get an answer like, “When you gave me that sexy stare in the bar, it really turned me on,” or “You grabbed the root of my hair when you kissed me and I knew right then.” These are the kinds of things that will give you insight into what you’re doing well (and what you should do more of in the future).

  5. Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

  This one will give you insight into just how sexually open she is. It can also give you some ideas for sex in kinkier types of places, like on the beach, in a car, in public, etc.

  You can use these ideas to spice up your sex life and add variety to your sessions with her.

  6. How many people have you had sex with?

  Note: This is one you should be cautious with.

  Whether you ask it or not really depends on how much you care about her sexual history. If it’s a big factor for you, then this is probably the best time to ask it, primarily because it’s your best chance to get an honest answer.

  The longer you hang out with a girl and they more she starts to like you, the more risk she’ll feel about revealing her true sexual history (especially if she’s been with her fair share of men). But after the first sex session, she’s feeling those good endorphins and she’s feeling open. It doesn’t feel like a huge risk for her to reveal some of her sexual history because she isn’t all that invested in you yet – she’s only had sex with you one time.

  As for whether or not you should care about her sexual history, that’s a whole other topic and it depends on your preference.

  And one more note: her version of the “truth” of her answer may be different than the actual truth. She might not count the random guy from that Mexico vacation, nor the college hook up where the guy put “just the tip” in.

  7. Have you ever hooked up with a woman?

  Whether you ask this question or not depends on whether you’re open to the idea of a threesome with this girl and potentially another girl.

  A surprising amount of girls have hooked up with other girls, or at least are open to doing it in the future. Still, others haven’t done it and aren’t open to it. This question gives you a good gauge on whether or not a threesome could be on the table at some point.

  Wrapping Up Questions You Can Ask Her After Sex...

  Right after a session of great sex, you’re both feeling good emotions and you’re more open to each other. It’s a golden opportunity to discover more about her sexual preferences, history, fantasies, and more.

  To recap the questions you can ask her after sex:

  1. What’s your favorite sex position?

  2. What’s a sexual fantasy you’ve always had?

  3. How rough do you like it?

  4. At what point did you realize you wanted to have sex with me?

  5. Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

  6. How many people have you had sex with?

  7. Have you ever hooked up with a woman?

  Epilogue:

  A Sunrise over Medellin

  We sat in bed, gazing out the window at the beautiful skyline of Medellin, Colombia. Ana and I had spent the last 3 months together adventuring around the country, having incredible sex, and sharing an amazing connection.

  She was an innocent-looking, cute, and petite Mexican girl with short black hair and big natural breasts.

  This was our last morning together. She had to fly back to Mexico later that day, and I was set to fly off to the United States soon after. We knew we’d probably never see each other again.

  “What am I going to do?” she asked.

  “What do you mean?” I said.

  “What am I going to do if I never see you again and never get to have sex with you again? You’re the best sex I’ve ever had… I don’t think other guys are going to be able to do it like you…” she mused.

  I thought back to the many girls with whom I’d had mediocre sex. The times where I’d laid in bed, disappointed and slightly embarrassed for a lackluster performance.

  Then I looked back over at her. She lay there in a state of complete satisfaction.

  There’s something awesome about lying next to a beautiful girl after a long night of amazing sex. As you both pant and regain your breath, you know you’ve given each other what you needed in that moment.

  You know that you’ve ravished her the way a man is supposed to ravish a woman. You’ve provided her with an experience that all the mediocre men out there can only dream of – and one that she won’t soon forget.

  I shot Ana a devilish grin.

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Or hell, maybe one day, I’ll write a book about it…”

  A Final Recap

  Fundamental #1: The Surface Level of Your Sexy Vibe

  - Talk slower so you appear more confident and women hang on your words.

  - Move slower to come across as more sexually appealing and controlled.

  - Pause at the right time to build tension.

  - Master the sexy smile instead of cheesing like Urkel.

  - Deepen your tone of voice by speaking from your belly.

  Fundamental #2: The Physical Level of Your Sexy Vibe

  - Work on your physique so you look better and have more sexual stamina.

  - Develop your style and wear clothes that fit well.

  - Get a good haircut to be more physically appealing, and keep your facial hair well-groomed.

  Fundamental #3: The Deeper Level of Your Sexy Vibe

  - Develop your charisma so that you come off as more interesting, intriguing, and sexy.

  - Develop an authentic sense of humor so that you look at life positively and have a good attitude.

  - Become more independent and stop relying on other people for your own happiness.

  - Live a purposeful life so that you have greater aspirations than simply being with a woman.

  Fundamental #4: The Sexual Mindsets

  - “I can enjoy a woman’s presence without the need for sex.”

  - “I won’t always perform at my best, and that’s okay.”

  - “I can give women an amazing sexual experience.”

  Fundamental #5: Escalate Through “Sexy Talk”

  - Use sexual humor – but remember to be subtle and throw in the occasional innuendo.

  - Speak with intent to convey your sexual vibe and turn her on.

  - Look at her lips to get her thinking about sex.

  - Connect on a deeper level to earn her trust and make the sex better later on.

  Fundamental #6: Recognize When She’s Horny (and Wants You to Make a Move)

  - She’s receptive to your touch and touches you back.

  - She gets in your personal space (and is comfortable with you in hers).

  - She talks less and gives shorter answers.

  - The two of you are alone in private.

  - She holds lingering eye contact.

  Fundamental #7: Turn Her On from the First Kiss

  - Go in for the kiss the right way, and pull away after a few seconds.

  - Master the sexual kiss so you can turn her on and get her thinking of sex.

  Fundamental #8: Transform Your Apartment into a Panty-Dropping Bachelor Pad

  - Keep your apartment clean.

  - Cultivate a good ambiance by using warm lighting and chill music.

  - Have the right-sized bed equipped with comfortable bedding.

  - Make sure you’ve got condoms and lube ready.

  Fundamental #9: Know Her Most Important Parts

  - The clitoris is filled with nerve endings and gets firmer and larger as the girl gets more stimulated.

  - The labia minora and labia majora are the inner and outer lips of the labia.

  - The
G spot is a small patch of flesh located around two to three inches up inside the vagina on the front of the vaginal wall.