The Hook Up Handbook Read online

  Keep this in mind as we go through the book!

  How The Hook Up Handbook Will Help You…

  This book is divided into 7 key parts:

  I. The Sexual Landscape (why most men are mediocre in the bedroom, how women think about sex, and what really makes a woman orgasm)

  II. Developing Your Sexy Vibe (become a sexy man and master the right sexual mindsets)

  III. The “Setup” Fundamentals (make the first move and master the “build-up” to sex)

  IV. The “Foreplay” Fundamentals (get her excited through sexy foreplay, and understand her parts and what to do with them)

  V. The Sex Fundamentals (the most pleasurable sex positions; how to be dominant, add variety, infuse passion, build your stamina, use dirty talk, and have orgasmic anal sex)

  VI. The Performance Fundamentals (how to last longer in bed, beat performance anxiety, and immerse yourself in the experience)

  VII. What to Do After Sex (how to show her you care, and how to guarantee that you see her again)

  Part I will help you understand how sex works and how women perceive it.

  Part II will help you become a sexy man who radiates sexuality and turns women on from his mere presence.

  Part III will help you become a man who makes the first move and has sex with the women he wants.

  Part IV will give you the tools you need to get her excited beforehand, so she practically begs you for sex.

  Part V will reveal the secrets you need to give her the best sex she’s ever had… every time.

  Part VI will help you crush performance anxiety so you consistently have great sex (without worrying about how long you’ll last).

  Part VII will help you make her feel comfortable after sex, so you can further build the connection and see her in the future.

  Now it’s time to dive into Part I: The Sexual Landscape. So roll your sleeves up and get ready!

  Part I:

  The Sexual Landscape

  Why Most Men Are Mediocre in the Bedroom

  Women have been unsatisfied in the bedroom for centuries.

  But here’s the crazy part: usually, their men don’t even realize it.

  According to a survey from HealthyWoman.org [1] 62 percent of women admitted to not being satisfied with their sex lives.

  What’s more, 79 percent of men think their wives are happy or very happy with their sex lives, while only 60 percent of those women say they actually are [1].

  So there’s a big disconnect here. Men think they’re doing at least an “okay” job, when really their women are craving much more.

  And from talking to countless women about this (and seeing the relief and satisfaction on their faces after a great session of sex), I can attest to these stats. Hell, I would even say women are far more dissatisfied than the surveys say.

  So, what’s going on here? Why are women not getting the kind of sex they need?

  It comes down to one big reason…

  Most men are mediocre in the bedroom!

  Sure, they can perform okay from time to time – and even have a great night of sex on rare occasion – but they’re not consistent.

  I was very inconsistent just a few years ago. Sometimes I’d last 30 minutes and give a girl multiple orgasms, and sometimes I’d struggle to last 5 minutes. Maybe you can relate.

  Whatever the case, it’s no big surprise that most men are mediocre in the bedroom.

  Think about it: As men, we’re never really taught how to have sex with a girl the right way. There’s no introductory class in school between algebra and history titled “Intercourse 101.” There’s no “how-to” guide that gives a man instructions to please any and every woman he comes into contact with.

  As a man, you are given an infinite amount of Internet porn and expected to come out on the other side with the knowledge of how to have great sex.

  And then, if you don’t perform well, you feel sexual shame, anxiety, and outright embarrassment. The hard truth is that you might even feel like less of a man. Girls will giggle at you, and the whole sexual experience will become awkward and uncomfortable.

  To sum it up, here are a few big reasons why most men are mediocre in the bedroom:

  - They don’t last long enough. It’s not about lasting a certain amount of time so much as it is about controlling your own orgasm and finishing whenever you want. This requires good physical stamina as well as the psychological knowledge of how to control the orgasm.

  - They don’t know what to do. They don’t know the right way to have sex with a girl. Positions, mindsets, the emotional level, etc. – it’s all foreign to these guys. They thrust in and out and hope for the best.

  - The skip out on foreplay or do it poorly. They fail to build up and get the girl excited about the sexual experience. This takes away from the actual intercourse and makes the woman feel unappreciated.

  - They focus only on the girl’s pleasure and don’t pay themselves any mind (or vice versa). This one is a bit counterintuitive. When you focus completely on the girl’s pleasure, you can get insecure about whether or not she’s enjoying the experience, and you can also sacrifice a lot of your own enjoyment. But if you focus only on your own pleasure, you may end up ignoring her needs and desires, and you also might get overwhelmed and finish prematurely. The key is to pay mind to both your pleasure and her pleasure but focus mainly on enjoying and immersing yourself in the overall experience (don’t worry, you’ll be well equipped to do this by the end of the book).

  - They lack variety. They have sex with a girl the same way (or a very similar way) just about every time and hardly ever switch it up. The sex gets boring over time.

  - They don’t infuse the sex with emotion. They focus solely on the physical aspect of sex while ignoring its psychological aspect. The sex is shallow, emotionless, and unsatisfying for the woman.

  Some guys don’t mind being mediocre. Other guys want to improve and give women amazing sex (if you’re reading this, then you’re probably the latter). This leads us to the next important point…

  The 3 Categories of Men

  When it comes to sexual performance, there are 3 categories of men…

  1) Men who don’t give a shit about their performance in bed and never try to change anything.

  These men are hopeless because they’re not willing to try to improve. Most men fall into this category because they let their egos get in the way. It’s too difficult for them to admit to themselves that they need help in the bedroom.

  2) Men who are naturally great in bed.

  These men know how to give women orgasm after orgasm with ease. But even these men can use a few tips now and then. There’s always room to improve, even if you’re already great in bed.

  3) Men who want to improve, but usually don’t go about it the right way.

  These men recognize their need to improve in the bedroom but aren’t quite sure how to go about it. They scour the web for the perfect sex position and how to hit the “G” spot.

  If you’re reading this, you may fall into the second category, but you probably fall into the third. And that’s all good because you’re finally going to learn how to improve the right way.

  But what exactly is the “right way”?

  Well, when the average guy tries to improve, he comes from a mindset that sex is purely a form of physical pleasure. He thinks that if he can just hit the right buttons and get into the right positons, she’ll have mind-blowing orgasms and get addicted to him.

  Here’s the problem: women don’t want a glorified gynecologist going down on them and trying to pleasure them. They want to be fucked into submission by a dominant man.

  And so, there are two important aspects involved. The physical and the psychological. In other words, you need to fuck her mind and her body if you want her to really feel pleasure.

  How do you do that?

  Well, that’s exactly what you’re about to learn.

  The first step is to understand how women think ab
out sex (because it’s probably a lot different than the way you think about it).

  Reference:

  1. "New Survey: Most Women Are NOT Satisfied With Their Sex Lives." HealthyWomen. Accessed October 30, 2017. http://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/new-survey-most-women-are-not-satisfied-their-sex-lives.

  How She Thinks About Sex

  (and How YOU Need To)

  It’s no secret that men and women view sex differently. To truly become great at sex, you’ll have to understand how women view sex, too.

  As a man, you can look at a girl and know within 3-5 seconds if you’d like to have sex with her.

  As a woman, she can look at a guy and know within 3-5 seconds if sex is a possibility, but not if she’d definitely be willing to have sex with him. What’s more, that 3-5 second “sex is a possibility” decision can shift quickly as well.

  There’s a lot more that goes into the decision for her than there is for you.

  Why? Well, it’s quite simple, really.

  Men are programmed to be more conquest-oriented. We’re programmed to want to have sex with as many women as possible, spread our seed, and continue our bloodline.

  There’s less risk involved for us in a couple of big ways. Firstly (and perhaps most obviously), if we get a girl pregnant, we’re not the ones who have to carry around the baby for 9 months. Hell, we can leave the next day, if we so choose, and be on to the next girl.

  Secondly, it’s a lot less risky in terms of how society will view us. It’s no secret how society views promiscuity in men versus in women. The man looks awesome when he sleeps with a lot of women, while the girl is labeled as a slut.

  Put simply: If a “perfect 10” girl slept with every guy who wanted to sleep with her, she’d no longer be a “perfect 10” in the eyes of society. She’d lose her mystique and value. In the process, she’d severely damage her ability to attract high quality men thanks to her reputation for sleeping with the whole city.

  And so, the more promiscuous a girl is, the more difficult it’ll be for her to find a quality guy to commit to her. And unlike us men who are more conquest-oriented, women are (usually) more commitment-oriented. They’re programmed to want a high-quality guy who will stick around.

  So it’s quite a severe blow and can damage their chances of getting commitment from a high-quality guy.

  Those are just a couple of the big risks from the woman’s perspective (we’ll talk about a few other risks in a minute).

  But here’s the thing: woman like sex just as much as (if not more than) men. So if you can show that you’re a high-quality, authentic guy with a little charisma and dominance, many women will be open to sexual adventures with you.

  You’ll learn how to be that kind of guy in part II. But just being that kind of guy won’t get women running to the bedroom with you.

  That’s because there’s still one big problem:

  Most men don’t understand what women need before getting sexual with a guy. If you don’t give a woman what she needs before sex, then she’s not going to want to have sex with you. She won’t be ready.

  Now, of course, all women are different, and they have varying sexual preferences. Some women will be more willing to jump into bed with you quickly, while others will prefer to move more slowly. Despite these differences, though, there are 4 general things she needs from you before she’ll have sex.

  If you know what these things are, you’ll be more aware of when a girl is (and isn’t) ready to have sex. You’ll also be able to adjust your approach to account for these things, so more women will be open to getting sexual with you.

  The 4 Things She Needs from You Before Sex

  1. She Needs to Feel Comfort and Trust With You.

  Emotionally healthy women need to feel comfortable before sleeping with you. She must feel that you’re not going to judge her or think she’s a “slut,” and also that you care about her well-being.

  This comfort is also important to the actual quality of the sex. Women are turned on by the whole experience – not just the physical part of it. When she’s comfortable with you, she’ll allow herself to let go a little more and immerse herself in the sex.

  So, how do you make women feel comfortable with you?

  Refrain from stating judgmental opinions, especially about women.

  Contentious and judgmental opinions are some of the worst conversation mistakes that turn women off. Instead, aim to be open and accepting in your conversations, and avoid the urge to make snap judgments.

  And this is kind of obvious, but it’s worth noting: you should refrain from talking about other women as “slutty” or generally talking badly about women for sleeping with other men. Because when you do this, she’ll feel that you’ll judge her if she chooses to have sex with you.

  Actually care about her well-being.

  A lot of guys aim to have sex with women simply to add notches to their bed posts. Hell, that’s how I used to be. Every time I bedded a new girl, the next number would tick off in my head. It took away from the experience and made me seem shallow and untrustworthy.

  But you must avoid searching for this kind of validation (or extra notch) when you have sex with a woman. Instead, your motivation should lie in the desire to enjoy an amazing experience with her. She’ll feel the difference, and it’ll make her more comfortable around you.

  Talk about emotional topics.

  Emotional conversation topics lay the foundation for trust and a strong connection. These conversation topics should revolve around her, as the more she tells you about herself, the more she’ll feel connected to you (and the more comfortable she’ll be around you).

  Here are some emotional conversation topics you can use:

  - Her dreams

  - Where she wants to travel

  - Her career

  - Her motivations

  - What she loves to do

  And once you hit on these, you can dive deeper by asking open-ended questions to continue the conversation.

  These are questions like “What made you get into that?” and “What makes you want to travel there?”

  Open-ended questions break a girl out of auto-pilot and require more than a simple yes or no response.

  Overcome Her Objections.

  Women will sometimes object to requests like going home with you and sleeping with you. The reason she objects usually has nothing to do with whether she actually wants to do the thing or not. In reality, it’s more related to her social programming.

  And that social programming usually tells her things like, “If I go home with this guy, my friends will judge me,” or, “If I sleep with this guy on the first date, that must mean I’m slutty.”

  So if you can keep a cool head and overcome these objections (while of course recognizing that “no means no”), you can earn her trust and make her comfortable having sex with you.

  Don’t Be Desperate for Sex.

  Women don’t want to feel like you’re desperate for sex. Yet the average guy signals exactly that.

  When a girl says the typical, “You know we’re not having sex tonight, right?,” he gets reactive and offended. Even if he doesn’t outright say so, the girl can tell that this has made him angry, and that he is indeed desperate for sex. This also signals that he probably doesn’t have too much sex or an abundance of women in his life.

  You should take the opposite approach and instead have a more relaxed attitude when it comes to sex. Sure, you’d like to have it, and it’d be a fun experience, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t. When women see you have this relaxed attitude, they’ll actually be a lot more comfortable having sex with you.

  2. She Needs to Feel That It’s Worth the Risk.

  Women are very aware of the risks of sex – much more so than men. Here are some of the risks from their point of view:

  - The risk of getting pregnant. I talked about this before, and it’s a big one. Obviously they’re the ones who have to carry the baby if an accide
ntal pregnancy happens.

  - The risk of STDs. Most men are just carriers so they rarely experience physical effects related to STDs. On the other hand, women are far more likely to be affected by STDs, as well as STD-induced diseases like different types of cancer.

  - The social risk that people will think she’s a slut. Whether it’s right or wrong, our society tends to look down on women who have sex with a lot of different men.