The Hook Up Handbook Read online

  But if you’re planning to have some intense rough sex, then something a little less chill, like hardcore rap or metal, can also be good. It’s ok to switch things up and go with different playlists for different moods and different styles of sex.

  Warm Lighting

  When you walk into your bedroom, it shouldn’t feel like you just stepped foot into Forever 21.

  Warm lighting is the way to go. Most overhead lighting is too bright, so I suggest getting a lamp with some warmer light. You can even get scented candles and incense, which are both a great way to set the mood.

  Another alternative, though, is a laser or an LED disco ball.

  Yes, you heard me right, and yes, I use this.

  You can set this up in the corner of your room and turn it on when you’re hanging with a girl. The laser will light up across the ceiling and the wall and create a cool, intimate atmosphere. It sets the mood immediately (it’s been tested).

  For this, I use this LED Disco Ball. It’s never steered me wrong, and I highly recommend it (and yes, that’s also me dancing in that video and dragging that girl across the dance floor at the beginning :p …).

  Element #4: Preparedness

  Here’s an element you might not have thought of, but trust me, it’s important. And you’re about to see why…

  Have Your Condoms Ready

  You’re about to have sex with her. She’s lying on your bed, ready for you to give her an amazing experience. Excitedly, you get up to grab a condom. Unfortunately, you can’t remember where you put your stash. You search through a few drawers and closets and come up empty.

  If this has ever happened to you, you know how much of a mood killer it is. And it sucks, especially because you can avoid it so easily.

  That’s why you need to come prepared (no pun intended, but intended).

  You should have a condom in your wallet as well as a designated drawer/place in your room where you put your condoms. If you want to be extra prepared, you can put a condom under each pillow, too.

  Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, and especially if you’re drunk, it’s easy to be irresponsible and go in without a condom. But if you have condoms under the pillows, you can beat your monkey brain and avoid the condomless sex you’ll regret later.

  Have Multi-Purpose Lubrication

  We’ll talk about sexual massages in the foreplay fundamentals – they’re great for turning women on and teasing them before sex.

  But a necessary part of those massages is massage lubrication. So make sure to have some handy in your drawer.

  Look for a water-based massage lubricant that can double as sexual lube (KY has a few like this).

  Because when you’re giving her a sexual massage, some of it is bound to eventually get between her legs, and it can make her feel a burning sensation if the massage lubrication isn’t water-based, which can make sex painful later on, too.

  Aside from this, sex lube is great because even if a woman is turned on, she can start to dry out after multiple sex sessions (or one particularly long session). The lube gets her wet again and allows the fun to keep going.

  Stock Up on Wine/Liquor/Beer

  As a general rule, you should always be stocked with:

  - 1 bottle of red wine

  - 1 bottle of liquor (vodka is a safe bet)

  - 1-2 mixers

  - 2 beers

  There are two reasons for this.

  1) You can use these as a way to bring her home (e.g. “Let’s head back to my place for a drink.”)

  2) They help set the mood once you’re at your place.

  The funny thing is, usually you won’t even finish a glass of wine/beer/a drink before you start hooking up with her.

  As a side note, you should offer her a glass of water along with a drink. A lot of times (especially if you’ve taken her home after a long night of dancing and partying), she won’t even want a drink (even if she agreed to “go back to your place for a drink”). But it’s good to have it there, just in case.

  ***

  Okay – you now know everything you need to in order to set up a great sexual experience. So, it’s time to get the actual “hook up” started.

  That’s where the foreplay begins and what the next part will be all about!

  Part IV:

  The Foreplay Fundamentals

  What Is Foreplay, and Why Is It Necessary?

  You sit down in a fancy five-star restaurant.

  You gaze at the surroundings and take it all in. Elegant decorations, well-dressed people, soothing music, and the enticing scent of delicious food.

  You’ve heard about this place for months, and you finally managed to get a reservation after some intense effort…

  And now, it’s time to sit down and enjoy an amazing meal.

  You want it all, too. An appetizer to whet your appetite and get you excited for the big meal, a main course to dig into, and a dessert to wind down.

  You look at your friends across the table and say, “This is going to be awesome!”

  But then, the waiter approaches your group and gives you some unfortunate news…

  “I’m sorry, folks, but we’ve just run out of all of our appetizers. We’re only serving the main course and dessert.”

  Your mood quickly changes from excitement to anxious disbelief. This was supposed to be the full five-star restaurant experience. The build-up, the climax, and the wind-down…

  But now, you won’t have the build-up. Not even a few pieces of bread with butter. Nope – they’re just going to bring out your hearty steak for the main course in 30 minutes.

  How would you feel if this happened?

  Probably pretty disappointed, right?

  Now imagine that feeling multiplied by a hundred…

  That’s what it can feel like to a woman when you skip out on foreplay. It can make the sex worse for you, too.

  According to a study by the Journal of Sex Research [1], both men and women crave about 18 minutes of foreplay before sex.

  Foreplay adds to the build-up and gets both you and your girl more excited to actually have sex (and it helps separate your mind from the stress and constant thoughts that come up in everyday life).

  Then, when you and your girl eventually orgasm, the orgasm is much more pleasurable and powerful than had you gone straight in.

  What’s more, foreplay gets your girl wet (i.e. it naturally lubricates her vagina), and this is essential to great sex.

  Yet a lot of guys like to slap on a condom and go right for it at the first chance they get. And even if they try to incorporate foreplay, they do it horribly wrong.

  So Part IV of this book is all about getting foreplay right – so she’s piping hot and ready for some amazing sex (and so you are, too).

  Reference:

  1. Miller, S. A., & Byers, E. S. (2004). Actual and desired duration of foreplay and intercourse: Discordance and misperceptions within heterosexual couples. The Journal of Sex Research,41(3), 301-309. doi:10.1080/00224490409552237

  Fundamental #9:

  Know Her Most Important Parts

  Most guys don’t know the first thing about a woman’s vagina. So it’s no surprise that they have no idea what to do with it.

  This isn’t an anatomy text book, and you don’t really need to know all of the parts of her vagina if you want to please her.

  But it does help to know some of the most important parts, especially because I’ll be referencing them throughout the rest of the book.

  Don’t get too caught up in memorizing all of these right now. Just make a mental note and know that you can refer back to this chapter if I reference a part that you don’t understand.

  The Mons Pubis

  This is the skin just above the top of the vagina. It’s a sensitive area and you can use this to tease a woman before you go all the way down to her vagina.

  The Labia Minora and Labia Majora

  These are the inner and outer lips of the labia. The labia is what you probably thi
nk of as the vagina. Everything kind of happens between these two lips, and they are very pleasurable for the woman.

  The Clitoral Hood

  The clitoral hood lies at the top of the labia majora, right above the clitoris.

  Its purpose is to protect the clitoris because, as you’re about to discover, it’s very sensitive. It retracts into the skin as a woman moves closer to orgasm and reemerges from the hood after orgasm.

  The Clitoris

  Some even go so far as to call this the “female penis.” Why? Well, it’s filled with nerve endings and gets firmer and larger as the girl gets more stimulated. However, it’s much smaller than the penis (which is why some guys struggle to find it), and it’s used solely for sexual stimulation.

  It’s also known simply as “the clit.” Keep in mind that some clits are bigger than others. It can be a little longer than an inch in length (though it’s usually smaller than that), with a circumference somewhere between .1 and .3 inches. But that’s just the part you see on the outside. The clit is like an iceberg – approximately 3 quarters of it are actually inside the body.

  It’s filled with around 8,000 nerve endings, which is more than anywhere else in the body and twice as many as are in the head of the penis. In other words, it’s a tiny pleasure center for the woman.

  You can find the clit just below the clitoral hood and just above the…

  …The Vaginal Opening

  This is the external opening to the vagina. It’s where babies are born, and also where you actually put your penis (and fingers) into the woman.

  The G Spot

  This is a small patch of flesh located around 2-3 inches up inside the vagina on the front of the vaginal wall. It’s an important area to hit when fingering her during foreplay.

  The Anus

  The anus is the external opening of the rectum. This isn’t a part of the vagina (of course) but it can be a very pleasurable zone. Some women like when you lick their anus, and also when you put a finger inside of it when you’re eating them out.

  The Perineum

  This is the small area of skin between the anus and the bottom of the vagina. It can be pleasurable to some women when you put a little pressure on it with your finger, while others won’t feel much there.

  ***

  Okay, you now have a better understanding of a woman’s vagina than the majority of men. That’s a good first step. But now, you need to put that information to use.

  With this in mind, let’s talk about how to get the physical part of foreplay going. We’ll start with the art of the sexual massage.

  Fundamental #10:

  Master the Art of the Sexual Massage

  Have you ever wanted to give a woman a teasing erotic massage that makes her whole body burst with sexual energy – so she’s practically begging you for sex?

  Well, that’s what this chapter is all about.

  Now, you don’t need to give a girl a sexual massage every time, but it’s a powerful tool to have in your foreplay arsenal.

  It adds variety and pleasure to the experience you have with a girl you’ve already been hooking up with (e.g. a girlfriend/friend with benefits/wife). Plus, it can lead a girl who was on the fence about having sex with you to basically give in and beg for your cock.

  Most of all, it amplifies the sexual tension, turns her on, and gets her incredibly wet.

  But before you get started giving sexual massages, you need to get the right tools. So let’s start with that.

  The Tools You’ll Need to Give Her a Great Sexual Massage

  I briefly mentioned these in the chapter about transforming your apartment into a panty-dropping bachelor pad, but I’ll go more in-depth here (that way, you won’t have to reference multiple chapters when you want to give her that sexy massage).

  Scented Candles

  Scented candles create a relaxed atmosphere with warm lighting and a pleasant aroma. Have three to four candles ready before you set up the massage and make sure to put them in a place where you won’t knock them over during it (or during sex later). You don’t want to burn the whole house down.

  Experiment with different scents to see which you and your girl like best.

  And make sure to have a lighter or some matches handy in your room so you don’t have to scramble when you want to get the candles set up.

  Incense

  I hadn’t used incense until recently when a roommate of mine told me about it. But I’ve been using it ever since. And it complements the scented candles well during the massage.

  In addition to creating a subtle and pleasant scent in the room, incense can also stimulate sexual desire and increase sexual attraction.

  Massage Oil

  You need some lubrication for the massage – otherwise, it will be rough and potentially painful for the girl. So make sure to have some handy in your drawer.

  As I mentioned earlier, go for a water-based massage lubricant that can double as sexual lube (KY has a few like this).

  Because when you’re giving her a sexual massage, some of it is bound to eventually get between her legs, and it can make her feel a burning sensation if the massage oil isn’t water-based, which can make sex painful later on (I’ve had this happen before, and it’s a mood killer).

  Good Music

  Relaxing, chill music sets the mood for a good sexual massage.

  Again, I recommend the “Chill Vibes” playlist on Spotify. If you want to get fancy with it and add a little variation, you can try a more “spa” type of playlist, like the “Spa Music” one (this is less repetitive) on Spotify. It’s super chill and also sets the mood well.

  Start the Massage

  Important note: Ask her what she likes in a massage and listen intently to her answer. The instructions I’ll lay out are a great guide, but nothing beats specific instructions from the girl. A lot of girls know what they want in a massage, and you’ll do just fine by giving it to them the way they like it.

  Tell her to lie on her stomach and keep her underwear on (this is more subtle and better than telling her to strip down and take her clothes off).

  Then start playing the music, light the candles and incense, and break out the massage oil. Take your shirt off as well. It’s time to start the massage.

  Position yourself so that you straddle her just below her butt (just make sure to hold your own weight so she can be comfortable). This gives you access to her whole back and butt, and it’s also a sexual position. If you start to get hard (which you probably will at some point during the massage), she’ll feel it around her anus and towards the bottom of her vagina, and it’ll turn her on even more.

  Once you’re in position, pour the massage oil/lubricant onto your hands and start working her middle to upper back and shoulders (try and do it to the rhythm of the music – this will add to the experience for her). Do this for five to ten minutes.

  Here are some techniques to use while massaging her back and shoulders:

  - Start with long up and down strokes on her back. For good strokes, keep your fingers together, your thumbs parallel, and your palms in full contact with the part of the body that you’re working.

  - Don’t forget about her arms and hands. You should also occasionally stroke the backs of her arms and caress her hands.

  - Use compression. Lay one hand flat on her back, neck, or shoulder, and press the other hand on top of it. Rotate slowly and add a little pressure.

  - Look for knots in her back and try to loosen them up by adding pressure.

  Once you’ve done this for five to ten minutes, start gradually working down to her lower back and legs, all the way down to her feet.

  From here, you can start making it more sexual…

  Make It Sexual

  At this point, she should be turned on quite a bit. If not, this will do the trick.

  Work your hands slowly up one leg, with one hand on the inside and one on the outside. Turn your hands away from her pussy at the last moment, and instead slide them up clos
er to her ass. Then repeat with the other leg.

  Now, run one hand up each of her legs simultaneously and again, move them away from her pussy at the last moment.

  Repeat this process a few times, and she’ll be very turned on. She might even start moaning.